Katy Morin

6 Steps to Develop Your Winning Personality

If you’re wondering if your personality traits could be the reason you’ve been unsuccessful in your career, there’s no need to worry. Personality is something that can be learned. A winning personality can be learned by taking on new habits and changing some of the old ones.

So, you’re not one of those people who easily connects with others. You’re not comfortable chatting at a party or good at interacting with your co-workers and team members. Yet, having a “winning” personality could make your life so much easier. The good news is that while some people seem to be born with these traits, it is something that can be learned. Let’s dive right in with 6 simple tips that you can implement right away to move in that direction.

Stop taking yourself so seriously
This is a common trait, or lack of it, that people notice pretty early on. Maybe you’ve noticed yourself talking to yourself in your head more than once, like when you’re walking and thinking “wait, did I lock the doors?” That’s a classic example of how we put too much pressure on ourselves when we think something is wrong with us.
Whether it’s a job interview or trying to make new friends, take the pressure off by laughing at yourself. It’ll be good stress relief, and will make you seem more approachable too.

Pick a Role Model
Start by picking a role model. Find someone around you who has a winning personality. Look for someone who’s charming, comfortable in their own skin, and good at talking to others. In other words, find the person who represents the “people skills” you want to develop. Start watching this person closely. Pay attention to what they do, what they say, how they act, and subtle things like body language and attitude. Then, copy the behaviors and habits you see.

Relate these behaviors to situations where you’ve felt awkward or uncomfortable like company parties, job interviews, or networking events. After a while, you’ll start to notice how well your new person-oriented behaviors will work toward making this uncomfortable scenario feel more natural.

Copy And Fake It
The next step is to start copying what this role model person is doing. I’m sure you’ve heard of the idea or concept of “fake it till you make it”. It may sound ridiculous, but it actually works. The concept behind it is modeling. You model the behavior you want until you’ve internalized it and it has become part of your core personality.

Evaluate And Adjust As Needed
Of course, things aren’t always the way they seem. This is why it’s important to not blindly copy or model someone else. Take the time to stop, evaluate how things are working, and tweaking and adjusting as needed.

Don’t be afraid to get ideas from observing other people, or try techniques you’ve read about. This is about your winning personality. You aren’t limited to copying just one other person. Trial and error, and of course lots and lots of practice is the name of the game.

Always be open to meeting new people
How many times have you heard yourself saying you don’t like talking to strangers? Who knows what kind of great opportunities are just around the corner for you if you could get over that mental block.

When you’re at a networking event or get-together, try to make small talk with the people there. The chances are good that you’ll connect with someone there you can actually hang out with for a few minutes and strike up an interesting conversation.

Work On Your Confidence
Last but not least, let’s talk about confidence, self-confidence to be more specific. One of the most attractive attributes of another person is self-confidence. It makes us like them and builds trust. Do what you can to work on your own self-confidence. As you get better at this, your winning personality will start to shine brighter and brighter.

Start with these four simple concepts and put them to good use. Practice them over the coming weeks and watch how your personality and your relationship with others start to change. Keep practicing and keep working on that winning personality. With enough effort, I promise you’ll get there. It’s not always easy, but definitely worth it.

If you need more help to make friends, check out my free guide: Charm: How To Attract and Connect with Others
Created with