Would you like to change your life, but are worried that you lack the drive and motivation to do so?
I am going to show you how having social anxiety can actually be an incredible opportunity and how it can end up benefiting people’s lives. This article will give you immediate relief from these feelings, as well as demonstrate a highly effective technique for using your subconscious mind in order to create positive changes for yourself.
Let’s get into what concrete steps those with social anxiety could take in order to better their own lives.
What is the subconscious mind?
Before going through this technique, it is essential that we understand what the subconscious mind is. The subconscious mind is a part of our consciousness that programs and controls every single process in our lives. It is where our thoughts, beliefs, emotions and desires are based. Our goals and dreams are initially based on the content of our subconscious minds.
This means that if you want to start a new career path or move to a new location — these things need to be programmed into your subconscious in order for them to become a reality. All actions that you undertake have been initially imagined within your subconscious mind first. This is why it is important to feed your subconscious only good experiences and information, in order to allow for a high quality of life.
In order for us to transform our lives and create the reality that we want, we need to also change how we program our subconscious minds. It is within our power to change these things — but we need to first understand what exactly needs to be changed.
What does it mean when you say you want to improve your social anxiety? Most people think that by this they mean that they want to become more sociable and less anxious around others. This may seem like a good idea — but in my experience, it’s far from the truth. By working on this you actually worsen your social anxiety.
Instead, it is far more effective to work on your self-confidence and self-esteem. It is these two factors that drive our behavior and determine what kinds of actions we undertake in any given situation. If you want to effectively change how others perceive you and be able to interact with them more effectively, then you need to focus less on your social anxiety symptoms and more on your confidence as a person. The good news is that it’s not hard at all — all it takes is a little re-programming within the subconscious mind.
Use the power of your subconscious mind
In order to create real and lasting change in your life, you need to stop the negative thinking about yourself. You need to realize the following facts:
You deserve good things in life You are capable of achieving anything that you want to in this world You are a talented and powerful person who is able to make positive changes within yourself (which will also benefit others) YOU control your life, not your circumstances — it is up to you what happens next because you have complete power over yourself. Nobody can tell you what should happen next in your life as long as you don’t allow them to.
Once you truly believe in these things, you will be able to enter a positive cycle of self-realization and self-improvement.
On the other hand, if you keep thinking negative thoughts and accepting that you won’t be successful in life, then this is exactly what will happen. If this sounds familiar to you, then try to imagine what your life would be like if your circumstances changed for the better — but YOU stayed the same. How would you act around others? You will probably be very uncomfortable around new people once you make these changes, so by working on your confidence and self-esteem, you are indirectly working on your social anxiety.
How to use the power of your subconscious mind to improve your social anxiety
Step 1: Pick out three qualities about yourself that you like the most. For example, “I am kind”, “I am smart”, “I am patient”, etc. Do this in a relaxed state where you are not distracted or thinking about something else. The more detail that you visualize when doing this exercise the better — imagine what each one of these characteristics looks like (all of its qualities) and how they impact your everyday actions.
Step 2: Let these three qualities become THE dominant qualities of your character. Imagine that these qualities are always on and always active within you in every single interaction with others or alone. Be sure to imagine yourself doing something positive and creative with these characteristics in your everyday life, as well as thinking about how they show up in your actions. For example, let’s say the first quality that you have selected is “kind”. You could imagine yourself talking to others or creating something new out of kindness. The more vivid and clear you can imagine this, the better — so try to use your full imagination and visualize as many objects, places and scenarios as possible where this quality is used.
Step 3: Repeat the first two steps with two more qualities. Make sure that they are completely different from each other and don’t repeat any of the previous ones. For example, “I am organized” (first), “I am funny” (second), “I am confident” (third). Work on these for about 2–3 weeks before adding new ones if you feel like you want to do so.
Step 4: Repeat this process with another handful of qualities, this time with the intention that these qualities are always on and active within you. For example, “I am calm”, “I am assertive”, “I am gracious”.
Step 5: Add more qualities until you have a full list of 10. Spend some time brainstorming ideas for each of these qualities and how they can be used to improve your life. Add qualities that you have never thought about before — you will be very surprised at what kind of qualities you can find.
Step 6: Feed these qualities to your subconscious mind as much as possible. The easiest way is to repeat the exercise from step 1, but also visualize your qualities within yourself in everyday situations and during interactions with others. This way, whenever you interact with others or do something new, you always use your character traits in a positive manner. If a situation calls for the opposite of one of the qualities that you have worked on, then don’t allow yourself to think those thought patterns — instead, let them pass by like a cloud on a sunny day. Always remember that these are positive things and they are always active within you.
Step 7: You need to repeat the process of visualization from step 1 and 2 with all of these qualities throughout the day. For example, if you are about to go out with someone for the first time, visualize yourself acting in a friendly, kind and calm manner. If you are thinking negative thoughts about yourself or others, then immediately replace them with positive and helpful thoughts. This will weaken the power of your negative thinking patterns and elevate your self-confidence.
Step 8: Learn to control your thoughts once again by repeating step 3 but this time use self-talk instead of visualization. Use self-talk to imagine yourself using the qualities in the best possible manner that you can. For example, if you have chosen “I am kind” and it is about time for you to talk to someone, use self-talk to think about what kind of an impact you have on their life and how you can be more kind. If this becomes easy enough and your self-talk becomes automatic, then stop using visualization and just do it through self-talk. This will be a good training method for you to use until your subconscious mind is trained enough to understand what you are talking about.
Step 9: Once you feel like you have mastered the use of self-talk and visualization, use these ways to improve your social abilities through everyday situations such as shopping or talking to strangers. Be sure not to repeat any positive thinking patterns that may be found in this book — only use those that have been designed for real-life situations such as talking to people at school or work.
Step 10: Just like with the previous steps, repeat this entire process for every other social interaction that you will have throughout the day. Try to be positive and always use at least one of your trained character traits in every interaction.
How to change your negative social thinking patterns into positive ones using affirmations
To go from a negative state and help yourself get over your fears and anxieties, you will need to change all of your negative thinking habits into positive ones. This is a very long-lasting process that will take time, so the best way to do it is by using the power of affirmations in daily life. You should use these affirmations for at least three months before you feel that the new habits are deeply ingrained in your mind.
Let’s say that for you the hardest thing about social anxiety is to approach people and start conversations. You might have thoughts like: “What if I do something stupid?” or “I am too nervous to talk”.
To help yourself with these thoughts, you can use one of these affirmations:
To help yourself with these thoughts, you can use one of these affirmations:
“I am calm, kind and friendly. I am not nervous around people — there is no reason to be anxious.”
“I feel confident when I talk to people because I have trained my mind over time using visualization and self-talk. I am friendly and I make good conversations because I am comfortable in my own skin — this is what it means to be confident.”
“Having a conversation with someone is easy for me. I can maintain eye contact and have good non-verbal communication skills. What is difficult is when I try to talk about boring things or too soon — both of these make me anxious, but when I am relaxed and confident, talking is easy because there are so many things that we share in common.” (You can use these first two sentences if you feel anxious when approaching people).
“I am calm, kind, friendly and confident. This is how I want to be in all of my social interactions.”
“I am relaxed when I talk to people. I know how to maintain eye contact with people during a conversation.’’
“I enjoy talking with others because they bring out the best side of me — it is a gift that every human being has. I do not need to be nervous because I know how to talk with people, and they always appreciate my presence.”
“I am calm, relaxed and confident. Talking with others makes me happy because it is a way for us to communicate and interact.”
“I enjoy meeting people and talking because it is a way for us to learn more about each other. Having new experiences makes me happy. I enjoy talking about my life, listening to people and having a conversation that is interesting.”
“Everyone has different qualities. Once I see the best side of someone, it only adds to our friendship. I love having conversations because they bring out the best in other people.”
“I am calm and relaxed when I talk to others. I know how to maintain eye contact and have good non-verbal communication skills which make it easy for me to understand different people. My friends appreciate my presence because they never feel uncomfortable with me around — no matter what their social status is. I appreciate everyone who is willing to talk to me because I am interested in them, and I am interested in them as well.”
“I enjoy talking with people because in most cases they bring out the best in me. We are all unique — we all respect each other’s differences and this makes our friendship valuable. No matter how much my friends value my presence, there is no need for me to be nervous when they talk to me — this only happens on those rare occasions when I look nervous around others.”
“I am relaxed when I talk to others. Staying calm allows me to communicate freely and effectively. I enjoy meeting people and I make great conversations because I understand others and they understand me. Having conversations is easy for me because I don’t feel nervous around people.”
“I am relaxed when I talk to others. There is no reason for me to be nervous — after all, I have a lot of friends that enjoy my presence.”
“I identify the best in other people and this helps me connect with them. This is how our friendship grows. The more we talk with each other, the more we appreciate each other’s company. It does not matter what my friends say about themselves or about me — it is important for us to be alike in some ways, and different in others.
You have now seen how you can change your negative thinking patterns into positive ones. Try to use these affirmations whenever you feel nervous and anxious when talking to people. Whenever you start feeling negative, it is better for you to be expressive and express what is on your mind — this will help you in a positive way.
I hope that the tips above will help you in overcoming social anxiety by using the power of your subconscious mind.
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