Do you feel scared to open up in relationships? Do people often tell you they can’t understand what’s happening with you?
We live in a world where it is not safe to show weakness or be vulnerable. From an early age, we are taught to hide our vulnerabilities and feel ashamed of them. But there is a way we can change this. There is always hope if you are willing to ask for help, especially when it comes to overcoming social anxiety and coming out from the shadows of your fears.
I am not advocating being an open book to everyone all the time, but it’s okay to share parts of your life with someone in a relationship. It is okay to reveal your feelings when you are in love, starting a new job, or experiencing a major change in your life. Holding back on sharing too much can make you feel isolated and lonely. When you don’t feel safe sharing your thoughts or feelings with others, it is natural for you to think that nobody really understands what’s happening inside you.
You may have heard this saying: “I was born to be who I am. And I want to be happy being who I am.” In my coaching practice, this is what I would tell my clients.
Your Self-Worth is Not Based on Your Achievements in Life
Many people suffer from social anxiety because they fear not being accepted by the world. Because of that fear, they often go overboard and overcompensate for their insecurities through achievements at work or school. They focus on earning a lot of money, getting a promotion at work or getting good grades at school to show how worthy they are.
The problem is not with the achievements but with basing your self-worth on achievements. Your self-worth should be based on who you are and what you have to offer the world. It should not be based on your achievements.
You Are Worthy Even If You Don’t Have a Lot of Money or a High Position in Society
For those who suffer from social anxiety, it can be even worse when others are bragging about their achievements or talking down to you because you don’t have anything. If you feel that way, realize that it has nothing to do with your value as a human being. You are worthy just because of who you are and what you have to offer this world.
Sharing Your Story Can Help You Find Strength in Numbers
Storytelling has been around for thousands of years as a way to express our feelings and connect with others. It is a powerful tool for social anxiety sufferers, especially online, where they can connect with others anonymously through forums or chat rooms. It gives them a safe space to talk about what they are going through without worrying about judgment or disapproval from others.
If you feel you cannot share your story with others, that is a sign that you are holding back. And that can lead to more loneliness and isolation.
Sharing your story is not about being dramatic, bragging or over-sharing. It is about releasing the parts of yourself that need to be out in the open and feeling connected with others. In order to do so, you will have to overcome a lot of fears. So instead of trying to change those fears, it’s better for you first to understand why they exist. From there, it’s easier for you to work through and overcome them independently. This is the first step towards getting over social anxiety.
How to Share Your Story and Connect with Others when you have Social Anxiety
Sharing your story does not mean you have to talk about every detail of your life. In fact, you don’t need to talk about everything in your life at any given time.
You don’t even need to talk at all, if that is not an option for you. One of the ways to overcome social anxiety is by sharing a message with others on social media, through poetry or through online posts or blogs. A good way to know when you are ready to share your story is when you have felt lost and lonely for too long without telling anyone. It is important that you do not wait until this point before starting to share your story.
Use a Journal to Express Your Feelings While You Write Them Down in Writing
I recommend journaling as a way of talking to yourself about what you are going through, motivation-wise. By writing your feelings down in your journal, you can clearly distinguish between what is real and what is not. And doing so will make it easier for you to make sense of your thoughts and feelings when you read back through them later.
Journaling is a fantastic way to reduce social anxiety and regain your confidence. You can journal your thoughts, feelings, motives and whatever you want. You can write about your intentions for the day, what you are grateful for or even what you had for breakfast.
When I started writing my “Journal of Motivation,” I felt like the world was opening up to me one page at a time. It’s not an easy thing to write. It takes practice. Start with 5–10 minutes and then build up to 30–60 minutes a day if you are able to do so.
By writing your thoughts on paper, you are actually thinking your thoughts. On paper, you can see the differences between a thought that is real and one that is not. You can also change the wording of an idea and ask yourself whether it makes sense or not. You can write out what is really going on in your mind without all the distorted filters that social anxiety adds on top of it.
I recommend journaling as a way to express your thoughts and emotions without sharing them with others. There is no obligation to share your thoughts with anyone else if they are private — just don’t feel forced to publish them if you don’t want to. It’s up to you.
It’s okay to talk about your feelings and express them, but it’s hard for others to understand what you are feeling without going through the same experience themselves. I know it can be hard to share what you are going through with those closest to you. At times it can be even harder than dealing with anxiety itself. However, if there is anyone in your life that deserves your trust and deserves to know how you feel — it would be these people.
But, at the same time, trust me when I say that they will thank you in the long run for sharing your story with them when you feel ready.
Find a group of friends to share your experiences or be accountable to
You can set up a group and have it for accountability purposes, which is a better way to deal with social anxiety than just being alone in the struggle.
A group of friends you can count on and trust is an important part of overcoming social anxiety. Having a trusted friend by your side gives you strength and helps you get through the hard times when everything seems hopeless. It’s like having an extra hand that goes along with your own thoughts and feelings, helping you stay on track.
Make Plans for Social Activities
Planning social activities with people you like is a good idea. It will boost your confidence and help you overcome the fear of being around people. This also helps build social skills, which are skills that only come from interacting with others. So, if you haven’t done this yet, try planning a social dinner or inviting someone over to hang out and make new friends.
A Word About Coaching
I know you might feel very stressed about social anxiety and the idea of getting help. Maybe you feel like you are desperate to get a solution and do something about it now.
If that’s the case, I recommend getting help from a professional coach. A coach has more experience dealing with social anxiety, knows how to overcome it and knows many techniques and ways of dealing with it.
As a social anxiety coach, I can advise you on what to do, offer solutions, and support and hold you accountable without judgment. The last thing someone who suffers from social anxiety needs is to hear that they are wrong or doing something wrong. Instead, they need someone who will help them overcome their issues while being understanding of them at the same time.
If you want my help, check out my two 1-on-1 coaching offers below:
As an experienced coach, I can help you get over social anxiety and show you how to stop avoiding certain situations or being afraid of them. I can help you learn how to change, improve your confidence, and reduce stress.
Overcoming social anxiety is possible regardless of how long you have been suffering or your past experiences. You need to be willing to work hard for it and get help if you feel that you can’t do it on your own.
If it wasn’t for my social anxiety, I wouldn’t have become a coach. It changed me in many ways, made me stronger, and I learned a lot from the struggle. So, instead of seeing social anxiety as a burden — see it as a gift or an opportunity to grow and develop as an individual.
Take Action Now and Change Your Life
The great thing about taking action is that it will help you get more confident in overcoming social anxiety. Taking action will change your life in many ways. The more confident you feel, the less anxious you are. And the less anxious you are — the more energy you have to take actions that can further boost your confidence!