Apr 25 / Katy Morin

How Does a Socially Anxious Person Become Socially Balanced?

Being socially anxious is a condition that makes it difficult for people with the disorder to willingly engage in social interactions. This anxiety can manifest itself as debilitating fears and worries about how the person will be perceived by others, leading to a lack of involvement in social activities.

Let's dive into the steps one can take to help build confidence when dealing with social anxiety, so you can feel comfortable in your own skin and build healthy relationships. Many people feel they are missing out on something important simply because they were always too scared or worried about what others thought of them. This can make a person feel like they have "nothing to offer." It is usually because they were never able to overcome the negative thoughts that go on in their head.

The task of overcoming social anxiety can be done. It only requires you to put forth the effort, as it will not happen overnight. With proper skill development, there are multiple methods that can help ease the symptoms of social anxiety:

Change your thought processes about the situation.
The things people worry about are those things that will not personally affect them at all.

This may seem paradoxical, but it is true. What you worry about is rarely the same as what actually happens. The things people worry about are those things that will not personally affect them at all. They fear saying the wrong thing or being judged by others. They fear awkward silences or not knowing what to say. The reality of conversation is that these situations almost never happen, and if they do, it doesn't mean anything at all. If a person says something wrong or offends someone, they can later apologize and learn from the experience, just as anyone else would learn from their mistakes.

Don't try to be perfect.
It is important to realize that if someone does not like you, it does not mean that they are telling the truth. People are often very good at hiding their true feelings and pretending to be something they are not. When people act like they hate you, or act distantly, do not believe them. It is just a mask they wear when they don't know how else to act for fear of being disliked themselves.
The best way to help yourself do this is to improve your skills and skill development, so you can develop ways in which to respond more appropriately than what others expect of you.
One of the reasons people develop social anxiety is because they feel that they have no talent and that others will judge them for little mistakes. However, when people practice a skill it can become as natural as any other routine task. It does not matter what others think about you, because you are not going to be perfect. 

Develop some skills.
We all learn through our actions and experiences, whether we realize it or not. The important thing here is to be able to speak knowledgeably on whatever topic is brought up and make people not only feel comfortable but also interested in your opinion. If this subject was something you were actually interested in, chances are that you would have picked up on it during the conversation regardless of whether or not the other person wanted you to talk about it.

Social anxiety is a result of your mind not being aware of what your body is doing on its own. This occurs when you are out of control with your thoughts, and you have no idea what to say or do. The person will feel anxious and nervous just thinking about the fact that they are in a social situation. When one is in this state of anxiety they may feel as if they are dreaming, or as if reality is like a movie going on around them but not involving them in any way. They will also experience a physical feeling of tightness in their chest when the anxiety gets worse.
However, the most important thing to remember is this: What other people think about you is not even worth thinking about in the first place.

Most people are just nice.
The reality of conversation is that these situations almost never happen, and if they do, it doesn't mean anything at all.
One of the most important ways to fight social anxiety is to realize that people are usually genuinely very kind and accepting. When you walk into a room full of strangers, they do not immediately change how they feel about you. They are usually cordial and interested in getting to know you, even if they don't know how to make an approach themselves. You are as much a part of the room as anyone else there is. There is no reason for you to be intimidated anymore than anyone else who walks into a room full of strangers.

It is the mind's interpretation.
When you feel anxiety and nervousness, it is usually because you are exhibiting a certain behavior due to the things that are going on in your mind. People don't hate you. They don't judge you for anything. They don't know any more about what is happening than you do, every time one of them thinks about your situation they think about their own as well.

People tend to interpret events in their own ways, so, for example, one person may interpret a social interaction as being negative and another person may interpret it as positive. People will also tend to interpret things differently if they are alone versus when they are around others.

It isn't your fault that you feel certain ways about situations or other people. It's your mind's interpretation of what is happening and how it should happen.

Get better at practice.
If you want to feel more at ease when you are in a social situation, the best way to do this is to practice a skill until it becomes second nature to you. For example, imagine that you are worried about making a mistake during a presentation. You could practice the presentation until you feel as if you have done it many times before and yet still feel confident in your ability to do it. The same can be applied to almost any social situation you might find yourself in.

The more you practice something, the easier it becomes to do and the less anxiety you will feel. To help with social anxiety, practice will always help. Practice also helps your overall confidence and makes situations more manageable for you mentally.

It's not your fault.
People tend to blame themselves for the way they feel and what they do. This is normal because most of us learn this behavior from our parents growing up. However, there is no reason why you should feel awkward or uncomfortable around people. If you do feel like this, it is simply because of how your mind has interpreted the situation.

This means that even if one of your friends is upset with you, it isn't your fault. If you have been feeling nervous recently, it isn't because of anything that you have done wrong. The way you feel and the things that go through your mind are not your fault or anyone else's.

Understand that mistakes happen.
Mistakes are inevitable, no matter what you are doing. So, if you are feeling nervous and anxious, it is not because you have committed any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone thinks that they are the only ones who make mistakes. So if you make a mistake in a social situation, forgive yourself immediately and realize that no one else is thinking about this moment or where they went wrong. They are probably just as nervous as you are.

Social anxiety doesn't have to control your life. You don't have to worry about what other people think of you or feel like you are so different from everyone else. The farther you go in life, the more you can see that everyone is just as special as you are. There will always be people who seem better than others and there will also always be people who seem worse than others, but this has nothing to do with your self-worth or how much value you possess.

The key to overcoming social anxiety is realizing that social situations will never go away. You will be interacting with other people until the end of your days and there is no escape from this reality. The best way to overcome social anxiety is to practice being yourself in a safe environment. You can do this by joining a club, taking acting class or simply spending more time with your friends. These types of activities allow you to feel free and explore who you are without feeling pressure from other people. Doing these things will help you greatly with overcoming social anxiety, but remember that it is very important to understand the causes of your anxiety before you can feel better.

If you truly want to overcome social anxiety, you must learn how to identify and understand the things that make you feel like this.
Which is the most important information to be learned here… because, if anyone has social anxiety it is a result of a need, which has not been met, one must find out what your needs are and then meet them.

If you need more help to thrive in social situations, check out my powerful program that will provide you with everything you need to finally get rid of the anxious feeling that rises within you every time you are faced with an uncomfortable situation and start living the life you want. 

Knowledge is power and once we understand the root causes of social anxiety disorder we are well on our way to being able to overcome them. Or at the very least mitigate their effects. Within this program, you will discover everything you need to know and get started with proper planning and implementation of a plan to overcome social anxiety that anyone can follow and see results and not be led astray by the latest and greatest "miracle" pill or fad.
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